December 23, 2008: Bureau of Furnishing Flammability
The other day I was looking at the underside of a stool, and saw that it failed the test initiated by the Bureau of Furnishing Flammability. I thought to myself, "That must be an awesome job."
Seriously, apparently there is a government job were you get to burn furniture to see if it'd be safe to smoke on. That's a job I want. Maybe I'd get to use a flame thrower, and wear a wielder's mask. I'd set fire to various furniture, and time it to see how long it takes a rocking chair to turn it ash. Then, at the end of the day, me and my coworkers will test a mattress, and roast marshmallows. Then I'd go home and let the kids play with the flamethrower.
Man, I want that job...